Dearest Gentle Reader, Season’s greetings 🤍 If I’m being honest, I didn’t keep all the promises I made to myself and to you guys in January 2025🥺. And for a long time, that bothered me a whole lot. But looking back now, I understand why. Last year needed me to pause, to learn, to unlearn, and to grow, and I’m grateful for every part of it. One of the biggest lessons came from choosing a career path. As a Microbiology graduate who genuinely enjoyed every aspect of the course (weirdly so), deciding what direction to take wasn’t easy. I felt pulled in many directions, unsure of where I truly belonged. Eventually, I ran back to God for clarity and slowly, things began to align. That clarity led me to academic writing. It was something I had always been interested in but never quite knew how to begin. When I finally took the leap, it was challenging, exciting, and deeply fulfilling. I’m incredibly grateful to everyone who referred me, trusted my work, and supported my journey. Thank you f...
Boundaries
Yes a topic that is constantly avoided and overlooked but is very important for our well-being. Saying yes to every request is often seen as a virtue. Setting boundaries is not about being selfish or controlling; it’s about being intentional and respectful of ourselves and others.
Boundaries are like gates in our compounds. They help us to control who and what comes in and who stays out. They help us protect our time, energy and emotional well-being. They are essential for maintaining healthy relationships, prioritizing self care and achieving goals. Without them you become like bus stop; everyone’s coming and going and you are left feeling drained, frustrated and disrespected.
For a long time, I struggled to say no to any request, no matter how challenging it was. My automatic response was always yes, which took a toll on me. I recall one instance where I was asked for answers in the hall and tried to help, only to get caught. I almost filled malpractice form and faced student representative council with possibility of rustication because I couldn't say no.
I also used to dress up early for class and wait for my friends, sometimes for over an hour. Even when they showed up late, I couldn't bring myself to leave or speak up about how it affected me. Missing classes wasn't something I wanted to do, but I couldn't set boundaries.
But it wasn't just time and energy - I also struggled with saying no to financial requests. Whenever someone asked me for money, I would give it to them, even if it was my last card. I couldn't set boundaries, and some friends exploited my generosity badly. I felt taken advantage of, but I didn't know how to stop it.
However, when I started prioritizing my own needs and setting boundaries, something shifted. I lost some friends who weren't willing to respect my limits, but the ones who were open to change and growth became even closer. Today, I have healthier friendships where my time, energy, emotional wellbeing, and finances are protected.
HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES
- Identify your limits: Recognize what you can tolerate and what you can’t
- Learn to say No without explanation or justification
- Practice self care : Prioritize your own needs and desires
- Be consistent : Apply your boundaries consistently even in difficult situations. Stick to your boundaries.
Boundaries are not about building walls; they are about creating space for what really matters. Setting boundaries was a game-changer for me, and I hope my story can inspire others to do the same. So take a deep breath and start setting those boundaries-your mind, body and soul will thank you!
Remember, saying no to others means saying yes to yourself.
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