Dearest Gentle Reader, Season’s greetings 🤍 If I’m being honest, I didn’t keep all the promises I made to myself and to you guys in January 2025🥺. And for a long time, that bothered me a whole lot. But looking back now, I understand why. Last year needed me to pause, to learn, to unlearn, and to grow, and I’m grateful for every part of it. One of the biggest lessons came from choosing a career path. As a Microbiology graduate who genuinely enjoyed every aspect of the course (weirdly so), deciding what direction to take wasn’t easy. I felt pulled in many directions, unsure of where I truly belonged. Eventually, I ran back to God for clarity and slowly, things began to align. That clarity led me to academic writing. It was something I had always been interested in but never quite knew how to begin. When I finally took the leap, it was challenging, exciting, and deeply fulfilling. I’m incredibly grateful to everyone who referred me, trusted my work, and supported my journey. Thank you f...
A warm welcome back !
Dearest gentle reader(I know, I know 😂😂)
I know it’s been a while and I apologize for the silence. Life took me on a detour, but I’m now refocused and I’m backkk
The Unseen Guest In Every Friendship
As the saying goes, "Show me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are." Our friendships reflect our values, interests, and character. But have you ever taken the time to define what you want and don't want in your friendships?
In my previous post on boundaries, I emphasized the importance of establishing limits in relationships. However, I realized that I hadn't clearly defined what I sought in friendships. I assumed that shared interests and mutual benefits and aligning vibes were enough. But experience taught me otherwise.
Recently, I formed a friendship that seemed perfect until I noticed traits that didn't align with my values. I had to reevaluate and eventually distance myself. This experience made me realize the importance of being intentional about the company I keep.
Know What You Want
Take time to reflect on the qualities you desire in friends:
- Emotional intelligence: A friend who can empathize and understand your emotions.
- Supportiveness: Someone who encourages and celebrates your growth.
- Authenticity: Genuine, transparent relationships.
- Shared values: Aligning with friends who share your core principles.
- Positive energy: Friends who uplift and inspire you.
For instance, I want friends who can offer emotional intelligence. When I shared my brother's passing with a friend, they replied, "I lost two." I was confused – were we comparing pain or what? That moment showed me the importance of emotional intelligence in friendships.
Know What You Don't Want
Be honest about the traits you don't want to tolerate:
- Negativity: Constant criticism or pessimism.
- Drama: Excessive, attention-seeking behavior.
- Manipulation: Narcissistic or controlling actions.
- Disrespect: Disregard for boundaries or others' feelings.
- Unreliability: Consistent flaking or broken promises.
The Role of the Holy Spirit in Guiding Friendships
Some red flags are obvious this is where the Holyspirit, intuition and discernment comes in:
- Pray for discernment: Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal red flags and potential issues.
- Listen to the still voice: Pay attention to the Holy Spirit's gentle nudges and warnings.
- Trust God's timing: Allow Him to bring people into your life at the right time.
- Trust your instincts: I can’t emphasize this enough. If you feel uneasy, uncomfortable and reevaluate
"The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth." - John 16:13
Establish clear expectations for your friendships:
- Communicate your needs and expectations assertively.
- Set limits on time and energy investment.
- Prioritize self-care and personal space.
The Question Remains
As you reflect on your friendships, ask yourself:
What qualities do I non-negotiably require in my friendships?
What boundaries will I set to protect my energy and well-being?
Now It's Your Turn!
Share with me in the comments:
What's the most important quality you look for in a friend?
Have you ever had to set boundaries in a friendship? How did it go?
What's one thing you're committed to doing differently in your friendships moving forward?
Let's Continue the Conversation!
Your thoughts, experiences, and insights will enrich our community and inspire others.
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