Your Timeline or Theirs? The Reality of Growing Up in Nigeria

If you’re Nigerian, you already know the drill. Step into a family gathering, barely settle in, and Auntie Tee slides over with a smirk 😏, “So, when are we coming to eat rice?”  It’s like the second you walk in, the “When will you marry?” question just gets unlocked, literally like they are waiting to see you for no other reason than ask “Yenyenyen”. And trust me, this isn’t just once or twice; it’s every family event, every single owambe, every holiday, like clockwork.

I used to think, “Is there something wrong with my timeline?” Everyone seems to have an agenda for my life that, somehow, starts , revolves around and ends with marriage. Like, let’s pause for a second, hold on a bit— I’m out here chasing my dreams, building my career, learning new skills, and they’re still focused on me finding “the one.” For real? you dey whine? As much as I want to find love, I’d like it to happen on Gods time, not because I’m dodging family and their bombastic side-eyes or society’s stopwatch. 

But let’s keep it real — the pressure doesn’t just come from the aunties, uncles or family at large. Social media, my peopleeeeeee! One scroll through Instagram or Twitter, and boom — someone’s getting married, ohh someone else just got promoted, and another person is living the soft life in Dubai, ohh the baby girl is going to Marrakech and from there Kigali and a lirru bit of Maldives. Meanwhile, there’s me who is still figuring out my career, wondering if this side hustle will finally bring in some real good money. And yeah, sometimes it hits me with the “God when?” vibes. But then I remember: everyone’s journey is different, and most of the time, what we see online is just the best parts, literally just what they want us to see. It’s not real life, and comparing won’t help me. 

And, oh, don’t even get me started on the money wahala. One minute I’m feeling like I have my savings on point, then inflation hits, and suddenly my “big plans” feel like pocket Moni . I see people posting about “soft life,” but my own reality? It’s more of a soft life on a budget.Balancing rent, bills( have you seen the cost of skincare?😭😭), and a social life in this economy? Abeg, it’s not easy. But one thing about us Nigerian youths — we’re resilient. We’ll still find ways to make it work, even if it means celebrating small wins along the way. 

Family and faith play a huge role in all this too. It’s not always easy to go your own way when everyone around you is holding onto traditional expectations. Your parents mean well, but sometimes, they don’t get that things have changed. You’re not just sitting around, but you’re taking your time to build a life that feels right for you . And honestly, for me faith keeps me going. When everything feels like it’s spinning out of control, just taking a moment to pray reminds me that there’s a bigger plan, even if I don’t see it yet. 

So, yeah, the pressures, the expectations, the comparisons — they’re real. But I’m learning to tune out the noise and stay focused on my own path. To anyone else going through this, just know your timeline is yours  and yours alone. Let’s keep chasing our dreams, celebrate every little step forward, and remember we’re enough, no matter what society thinks. 

And next time Auntie Tee  comes at me with her, “When will you marry?” — I’ll just smile, sip my drink, and tell her, “Auntie, God’s time is the best.” 😌 And  If you’ve ever felt this pressure, comment below with your best comeback line for those ‘When will you marry?’ questions — maybe I’ll use it next time! 😅