The Little Things: How Our Actions Shape the Next Generation

Some years back, my mom and I were walking through our area one afternoon when we came across two kids—a boy and a girl—fighting aggressively. The boy was clearly stronger, and he was beating the girl so badly that my mom had to step in and separate them.  

After breaking up the fight, my mom, visibly upset, decided to ask what had caused it. The boy, still defensive, answered, “We’re playing mummy and daddy, ma ( like the usual papa and mama)”  

My mom and I froze, confused horrified and visibly shaken cuz howwwww. She asked why he was beating the girl if they were just “playing.” Without hesitation, he said, “That’s how daddy beats mummy.”  

I’ll never forget that moment. It was heartbreaking, I was pained, pissed and angry not just because of what the boy said, but because of what it revealed: the impact of what children  and the younger generations see and absorb from the world around them.  

Children are like sponges—they soak up everything around them. They don’t need to be told explicitly what is right or wrong; they learn through observation. In this boy’s eyes, violence wasn’t just something he witnessed—it was normal, it was a way of life, it was the right way to correct his partner. It was a part of playing house.  

What’s worse is that the girl also participated in the game, unknowingly reinforcing the idea that being beaten by a man is something she might expect—or even accept—in her future. Reinforcing the idea that her partner should beat her whenever they have any issues.

This small interaction speaks volumes about the ripple effect of the actions we display in our daily lives. Whether it’s positive or negative, our behavior shapes the way younger generations perceive the world and their place in it.  

The impact of this boy’s mentality is not limited to one fight. Left unchecked, he might grow up believing that violence is an acceptable way to handle conflict in relationships. Meanwhile, the girl might internalize the idea that being mistreated is just a part of life.  I can’t even imagine their relationships when they grow if that mentality doesn’t change

When children witness toxic patterns—whether it’s physical abuse, unhealthy communication, or lack of respect—they grow up carrying those lessons into adulthood. They unconsciously replicate what they’ve seen, perpetuating cycles of abuse, inequality, or other harmful norms.  

This is why it’s so important to pause and reflect on our own actions. What example are we setting for those watching us?  

As adults, we are constantly being observed. Children watch how we speak to others, how we treat people, and how we handle our emotions. They learn kindness, respect, and empathy—or the lack of these—from the way we behave.  

We may not always realize it, but the small, everyday moments—our tone during a disagreement, the way we resolve conflicts, or even the affection we show to loved ones—have a lasting impact. Being a role model isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being very intentional.  

The good news is, this  harmful cycles can be broken. It starts with self-awareness and a commitment to change. Here are some thoughtful ways we can inspire healthier behaviors in the next generation

1. Lead by Example: Show children what respect, kindness, and love look like in your actions.  

2. Educate Early: Teach kids about healthy relationships, boundaries, and the importance of consent.  

3. Speak Out: Don’t stay silent about issues like domestic violence—whether it’s happening to you or someone you know. Create awareness and challenge harmful stereotypes.  

4. Seek Help When Needed: If you’re struggling with unhealthy patterns in your own life, it’s never too late to seek help and work toward change.  

The fight I witnessed that day was more than just a childish fight. It was a window into how much our actions as adults shape the minds of those who look up to us. Imagine if the boy had grown up in a home where love and respect were the norm instead of violence. Imagine if the girl had been taught that her worth was never tied to anyone’s mistreatment of her.  

We all have the power to create a better example for the younger generation. So, I leave you with this question:  

What lessons are you unconsciously teaching the children around you?

Have you had a similar experience or witnessed how actions influence kids? Let’s start a conversation. Share your thoughts or stories in the comments below—I’d honestly love to hear from you!