Detours, Delays & Decisions: Not where i thought I'd be

 

So… this week’s blog post was supposed to be part of the NYSC Series—you know, the one where we laugh/cry about camp trauma, PPA wahala, and everything in between. But I had to take a detour. Because honestly? Life has been lifing, and it felt right to pause and talk about something else: career decisions, God, and the big fat confusing waiting season.

And maybe also because… adulting knocked me out.

First, A Confession

I haven’t posted a blog in about a month. Not because I didn’t have things to say (my draft choke), but because life came at me fast. You know those seasons where everything feels like too much and not enough at the same time? That’s where I’ve been.

Adulting humbled me. It made me take a step back—from writing, from posting, from pretending like I had things figured out. So to everyone who noticed the silence—I’m sorryyyyyy. I missed you too so so much.

Now, let’s talk.

The “What Next?” Question Nobody Prepares You For

You finish school, maybe you serve (or you’re about to), and suddenly the question becomes louder:

“What’s next?”

And not the cute “what’s next” with a glass of wine and your girls on a Friday night. No. This is the staring at the ceiling at 2 AM, refreshing LinkedIn, comparing your life with strangers on Instagram type of what’s next. And it. Is. Not. Easy.

There’s this pressure to have everything figured out at once. Some  studied a course they’re not even interested in anymore. Some of us want to pivot—tech, creative, admin, whatever. And some of us are just tired of pretending we even know what we want.

But here’s the thing nobody says enough: it’s okay to be confused.

Career decisions don’t always look like a straight line. Sometimes they look like detours, waiting periods, praying in your room and hearing nothing, trying one course today and abandoning it tomorrow, or sending applications into the abyss.

The God Factor: Confusing but Comforting

Now, let’s talk about the God factor—because it’s giving “Lord, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

We say we trust God, but when He’s quiet, it gets real. You pray, you fast, you attend vigils, and… silence ....... uttermost silence. That silence can be frustrating, even scary.

But the thing about God is that even in the quiet, He’s moving. He’s aligning things. He’s teaching us trust, patience, obedience—the things that don’t trend on X (Twitter) but build you for the long haul.

We don’t talk enough about how hard the waiting period is. It’s hardddd. And lonely. And humbling. And did I say hard?

But it’s also where clarity is born. Slowly. In whispers. In little wins. In random conversations. In the peace you feel after crying your eyes out.

For Me, Peace Was the Compass

What helped me the most was choosing the option that gave me peace.

Not excitement. Not even certainty. Just peace.

I remember relaying everything I was feeling to a friend—pouring it all out: the confusion, the fear, the “what ifs.” And he just said something that changed everything:  

“Now you can understand why the Bible says, ‘For I know the thoughts I think towards you… thoughts of peace, not of evil.’”  

And he emphasized it: not “good” as we often misquote, but peace.

That hit me. Because peace isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s just a quiet knowing. A soft sigh. A decision that doesn't necessarily make sense on paper but feels right in your spirit. That’s what I followed. That’s what I keep choosing.

The Blessing of a Good and Godly Circle

Also? Shoutout to my friends. Real ones.

That conversation didn’t just come from nowhere. It came from having a solid circle. People who know God, who aren’t afraid to challenge you in love, who listen and speak life into your confusion. I honestly don’t know how people do life without godly community.

In moments when I wanted to give up, they reminded me of who I was—and Whose I was.  

Please, if you don’t have that kind of support system, start praying for it. Start being it too. Because life will  literally test you, and community will catch you.

The Pressure is Not From God

Let me also remind you (and myself): the pressure to perform, to arrive, to post “big announcement” graphics on IG every two weeks—it’s not from God. His timing >>> our timing, always.  

The goal is to be aligned, not rushed.

And sometimes, obedience looks like rest. Sometimes, it looks like stillness. Sometimes, it looks like turning off your phone and journaling. Or taking that course. Or just breathing. You are not wasting time when you’re waiting with God.

In Conclusion: We’re All Figuring It Out

So yeah, this wasn’t the NYSC gist I promised, but I hope it was needed.

If you’re in that season where everything feels up in the air, know that you're not alone. We’re all just figuring it out—some loudly, some quietly, but figuring it out nonetheless.

Be kind to yourself. Take the next step, even if it’s small. Trust God, even when it’s scary. And remember: no one really knows what they’re doing. We’re all just out here vibing and praying.

P.S.  

The NYSC series will continue next week (God willing, and if NEPA behaves). Until then, send this to someone who needs to know they’re not mad, just in transition.

i said send it to someone who needs ittttt!!! dont be selfish